This one is to a friend who lost touch but still thinks about me

Hi,

I’ll try to be articulate but there is just so much to say. This is my space without a word limit. But tldr if you don’t want to read the full thing: 2025 was wild. I hated it and I loved it. It was a year that brought me back to life.

This is divided into 6 chapters- Career, Family, Health, Personal Growth, Finance, Relationship

1) CAREER

Where was I at the start of the year?

I had completed 2.5 years at my job at MyMuse and were moving towards completing 3 years. I was working remotely as Head of Business - a role which was still new and exciting. The company was doing great, I was doing okay. I had started to think a lot about life in general and the ambition to start something of my own had started brewing. It was also the time where I had started leaning towards skipping bschool journey altogether. This was big as I had dreamed of attending a prestigious bschool for close to 4 years now.

What objectively changed?

Oh so much. so so much.

I had given myself a deadline to quit my job by June- the month I would have completed 3 years with the organisation. I quit my job in June. Reason: I wasn’t learning anymore, I wasn’t failing enough, and I realised I still had some foolishness in me to take wild risks right now so why not? I asked myself what if the startup I am doing fails and I have to take a pay cut in my next job - would I be okay with that? I am surprised how instant the answer to this was. Yes, I would be okay with the short term setback as I needed to bring back the curiosity and drive in myself, which any other job would not have been able to do.

The journey after quitting my job has been in phases. On paper not much has changed- but it feels like I have explored so much.

June, July: It was night and day to work on something over weekends and then work on it full time. With any safety net you look at things very differently. I needed full time at that point in time. I started working on Littlewise (Development toys brand for kids) and very soon realised that we had no product MOAT. The only MOAT we would build with time would be in marketing. Plan on paper was perfect but I realised this wasn’t the area I would enjoy building in for the long term. Before realising this I had ordered inventory, built website, started marketing. Some of this inventory is still placed in my home and I have to figure out if I wanna sell it and close things down or find some other outcome for it :)

August: Third month of being unemployed- I started thinking to do things in parallel to Littlewise. I thought that trying out multiple things at once will open up probability of one of them to work. Started working on a Meal Tracking App as a growth co founder. Did all sorts of hacky stuff :p got some views and users but none of it matters if you don’t have strong conviction in what you’re building. Conviction is somehow related to gut feeling as well. You can lack it in greatest of ideas. I was also trying out ideas with another friend in parallel and did some idea evaluations and small pilots. The most difficult thing about August wasn’t to stop working on ideas but to stop working with the co founders as both of them were great but our startup vision didn’t align.

September, October: Things started breaking here. I spent 15 days researching on a new idea which I realised wouldn’t work. I was in 4th month of having no job now and I had no co founder and no idea to start with. I was in 4th month and I hadn’t even started my startup journey. So did I regret going down this path? I never regretted trying things out. I owed it to myself to give myself a fair chance. I thought this was a good time to change pace- that I was ready to start working at an organisation again and can always think of ideas and find co founder while working somewhere. I started looking for jobs. I hadn’t applied to jobs in a very long time and was well aware of the gruesome job market. I still had high expectations. The job should be at a high growth company, which has smart people working there, would be great if it were remote, and pays me well. It’s very difficult to not let imposter syndrome kick in while in this cycle- what if I was overvalued in my last role? What if I am not that capable? I still kept on reminding myself- what if I were capable? This was a terrible experience overall. Random ghostings from HR’s and not hearing back from places you were excited about can take a toll. Things started picking up in 4th week of applying where I started getting offers. They didn’t tick all my expectations but were more than halfway there (and paid well so ok i guess). I would still keep on evaluating ideas on the side- almost as if I was looking for a reason to not take up a job. This is when I met Sparsh on Y Combinator co founder matching. We had a strong value and vision alignment. Finding a great co founder who also wanted to work on same ideas and had same goals was the most difficult thing in this process. I am a hopeful person so all I could think of was - what if this works out? It’ll make up for a great team.

November, December: 6th month of unemployment started. I took a decision to let go of the job offers and give entrepreneurship 3 more months. Sparsh and I started exploring and working on ideas together. We worked on an idea for 45 days only for both of us to realise it won’t work. Mid December- we took a new approach. We’ll do sprints and look for focused results instead of going into the macro view of things. Work more talk less. No idea works fully and we just had to find something we both think would work. We started working on a work management platform that lies at the intersection of organisational context ( it takes into account the people aspect and live view of what’s up in your org) and project management. We are 6 days into it and we think it’s a super cool space. We are both very excited to see what 2026 has in cards for this.

What am I proud of?

Working on your startup is the best feeling that you could experience. However, it also brings in the other extreme. Everyday is a new challenge. Everyday brings in a new problem to solve. There is a new failure everyday. It can range from co founder issues to market issues. Any permutation and combination of problems that you can think of, and specially that you can’t think of, will come up. There is just so much that can go wrong. I am proud that I am able to think more about everything that can go right and have remained positive through this entire process. If anything I think this has brought me closer to myself and has made me a better person.

Where did I struggle or stall?

I would say discipline. I’ve had cycles of sleeping at 4pm and waking up at 11pm on some days. It’s wild. I need to work more on being disciplined. Erratic sleeping and eating cycles don’t do any good. It only makes you unproductive as you spend time in trying to fix them.

What did this year teach me about myself?

  • I am stronger than I thought I was and I am more capable than I thought I was

  • I suck at multi tasking. If I am focusing on one thing, I lose focus of everything else.

  • Success>Impact>Money. Although all of them matters. Momentum drives more than anything else.

  • I am happier with non linear trajectory and not knowing what’s next (directionally knowing is ok but still leaving room to let life happen)

  • I regret missed chances more than missed opportunities

  • Career is a part of life. Goal in life is to maximise happiness. Career should also lead to maximising happiness

“Oscar Wilde said that if you know what you want to be, then you inevitably become it. That is your punishment. But if you never know, then you can be anything. There is a truth to that. We are not nouns, we are verbs. I am not a thing — an actor, a writer — I am a person who does things — I write, I act — and I never know what I am going to do next. I think you can be imprisoned if you think of yourself as a noun.” ~ Stephen Fry

The exact Wilde quote to which Fry is referring is this:

“If you want to be a grocer, or a general, or a politician, or a judge, you will invariably become it; that is your punishment. If you never know what you want to be, if you live what some might call the dynamic life — but what I will call the artistic life — if each day you are unsure of who you are and what you know you will never become anything, and that is your reward.” ~ Oscar Wilde

2) FAMILY

Where was I at the start of the year?

I had moved to Delhi to be closer to my family and to figure the next steps in life. It had been a while since I had lived with my family so decided to live alone but closer to them. on 1st Jan I had 8 days left to find a new house to live in as I had given notice to my landlord without finding a new space to live in.

What objectively changed?

I think unlike some of the other buckets- changes weren’t that stark here. I made slow progress in getting closer to family and re building the relationship with everyone in my family.

Living close to family: The kind of calm it can bring to your life is not known till you experience it. To be able to attend birthdays, anniversaries, and other celebrations and witnessing your grandfather turning a year older, your grandmother going through back surgery and still sitting up (when she shouldn’t be but the woman has resilience of water bear), going to vrindavan with your mom, getting calls from your dad every sunday to check in if you’re visiting, and partying with your brother and cousins.

Living alone: A lot of people wonder what living alone is like- is it lonely? is it boring? is it a lot of responsibility? It can be all of those but it also brings in peace and gives you a chance to connect with yourself. I live in a city where I have my family and plenty friends- giving me the optionality to visiting them whenever I am craving human contact. It also gives you a chance to create your own space (vs a shared space) and having a veto in if you want to keep lights open or close in living room, you can keep food for 2 days in your refrigerator, you can order the scotch bright 2 days late, and live life your own way.

What am I proud of?

Definitely getting closer to my family both in physical and emotional distance.

Where did I struggle or stall?

I still struggle to make deep emotional conversations. I have become aloof with time and only selective talking.

What did this year teach me about myself?

  • Having a family is the biggest privilege
  • Being close to your family
  • You’re lucky to have people in life who love you more than they love themselves

3) HEALTH

Where was I at the start of the year?

The year started with me coughing up blood- hoping it’s a one time thing. I had lost a lot of weight and my old clothes had started fitting me again. Through the year the watch on my wrist became a good indicator of checking my weight. I was hoping I don’t gain it back even after recovering from whatever was going on :p

What objectively changed?

I love food- so why do I not feel like eating it: I was coughing blood on and off for 3 months and had lost 10 kg’s in a span of 3 weeks. I would go my favorite cafe’s and not feel like having anything. It became having just one meal in a day. As I started freaking out about it, I went to my ENT Doc again thinking something is related to the blood, he redirected me to Gastrist to get the Endoscopy done. I went to the doctor and started crying as I was trying to tell him what has been up- “I have always loved food, so why do I not feel like having it?”, we completed my tests and turns out I had a very severe stomach infection that had caused ulcers in my stomach and food passage. It was quite serious. I was put on strong meds immediately. I started reading that it increases your chance of stomach cancer significantly and I freak out every 4 months and get a test done to check on relapse.

Being Uni Dimensional: This year was a challenging year in terms of figuring out life goals and that became a good enough reason to stop tennis or any physical activity. With people my age going crazy after runs, gym, hyrox- exercising is the new partying. However, it’s very difficult for me to keep up with multiple aspects of life. 2025 was locking myself in and working. I don’t know how much I worked but I definitely got left behind a lot in other aspects.

A Delhi Year: After 4 years, spent the year in Delhi and what 800+ AQI feels like on a day to day. Constant headaches, eye irritation and what not. Call me paranoid but this has given me another reason to not step out. I try to stay back in my room with air purifier on all the time now.

Home Food: I did explore cooking a lot this year- more home meals. I enjoyed buying ingredients, learning new cuisines.

What am I proud of?

Got my HPV Vaccine- girls please stop delaying it and get your vaccination.

Where did I struggle or stall?

Sleep schedule has been haywire through the year with days where I slept at 2pm in the afternoon and woke up at 11pm. I have seen all sleep cycles this year. I had a lot of self care products that were put to no use at all.

What did this year teach me about myself?

  • Moment of slipping is generally just a moment- if you stay strong in that minute, it’ll pass by
  • Good food, sleep, and exercise has a strong co relation with happiness and has effects on our life beyond our imagination. Phases where I was eating well- I was also feeling better
  • Just like everything else- taking care of yourself compounts

“*Everything is super important until you get sick. Then you realise there was only ever one thing that was important. Your health. *”

4) FINANCES

Where was I at the start of the year?

The start of the year I had just gotten back from vacation where I overspent, with a new phone which I had to buy cause I broke my old phone, renting a house 2.5x of my budget because why not, and moving out of the house within a month with brokerage and security as a sunk cost. So yes, you can conclude that the year started at the worst note it could have in terms of finances.

What objectively changed?

Littlewise - I started up with a mindset that I should be taking more risks and that I need to spend to move fast and grow faster. Spent a lot of money on marketing, inventory etc only to realise that I don’t want to pursue this idea

Value of money: Nothing teaches you value of money like having a child or starting your own business. 2025 did what no other year could. I became way more conscious of my spends.

What am I proud of?

Reduced shopping

Where did I struggle or stall?

Cutting down on monthly expenses

What did this year teach me about myself?

  • Impact matters more to me than money
  • Shopping provides momentary happiness but that goes away very quickly
  • A balance between spending enough to experience life and saving to buy your independence is very key

“*We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like *”

5) RELATIONSHIPS

Oh boy did nothing happen at all in this bucket in 2025 :)

6) PERSONAL GROWTH

Growth has always been a very important thing to me. I’ve always felt it’s not possible to stand in the same place. Life is always moving. If you don’t move forward in life you’ll have to move backwards. Growth doesn’t just mean career growth, to me it means to learn new things, meet new people, and to explore sides of you you didn’t know existed.

2025 was different. It was a year where I lived alone, quit my job, tried several new things :) all in all I liked to believe it was a very pivotal year

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